Looking out of the window, watching the days go by, and wondering if reality was as real as its name implied.  There was a slight reflection of myself in the window created by the glimmering yellow light bulb of the bed lamp.  The sea in the distance glowing the obscured light of a half moon and the skies as black as ever, with little white dots like salt flakes reflecting the few light that penetrates through the winter clouds.

There was nothing more than sheer silence, accept for the occasional squeaking of the doors from the neighbouring rooms and the soft synchronised sound of little droplets controlled, that seemed as if they could last for ever.  In the distance, planes crossed through the skies like shooting stars un-effected by the earth’s atmosphere.

My thoughts ran faster than my hands could handle and like alcohol evaporated through the midst of the night never to be thought about again.  I thought why it had to be misfortune or ill happenings to make me write. Why it had to be silence to drive my pencil to dance as if it were shy to be seen moving. Like a promising writer who writes then throws his notebook into the sea, so that only the crystalline water can feel his thoughts.

Just next to me is Einstein’s’ Biography and beneath that the National Geographic, looking at me as if questioning why they have been left un-opened for these last days.  Lacking the interest they remain untouched for my thoughts are elsewhere from the science of understanding matter or from comprehending the laws of relativity.  I am questioning what could be my endless search, or maybe just dreaming and looking out there hoping to find the answer.

I then hear a cry, a weeping sorrow, panic, and once again I fall into the pit of questioning, looking out towards what could be an un-answerable horizon.  There is nothing more painful than hearing sorrow here in my own silence.  So then just like religion I look out of the window to alienate myself, to cover my eyes from the reality behind me.  Questioning whether it is the host in me that wants me blind or the society that has bred me for so long helping me to become in such a controllable manner.

My reflection remains motionless as much as thyself and there I remained in silence.

Like footprints in the sand which slowly fade away, my thoughts swiftly flow through, whilst the wind blows my sun scorched face here in Golden Bay. The sea, symphonically rushing its way through the pebbles which rest upon the sea bed. Nothing to see accept the sun, slowly fading away in the horizon reflecting its warmth for the last moments of the day. I look up towards the skies, and all I can see is a tower, which like a chameleon has adapted to its surroundings maybe to protect itself, to survive through the turmoil of time and mankind’s greed for power.

(more…)